Current reading could leave a lasting impression...

"Scar tissue that I wish you saw, sarcastic mister know it all, close your eyes and i'll kiss you cause with the bird I'll share"
-Red Hot Chili Peppers

I've noticed that since I've been in college it has been hard to have time to read something that isn't a textbook.

My boyfriend is a huge Red Hot Chili Peppers fan. HUGE. So when I mentioned I was looking for something new to read, he immediately shoved Anthony Kiedis's autobiography Scar Tissue in my hands.

I have to admit, that I wasn't jumping out of my shoes to read the book. He had constantly raved about it but for some reason I just never felt the need to pick it up. I soon realized I was completely wrong.

This book, from the very first pages takes you on a journey of self discovery, music, and a lot of drug use. I am currently reading about the early stages on the Red Hot Chili Peppers, around the time of Kiedis being 20. By this point of the book he has already experienced more than I have in my 20 years.

Kiedis retells his story so vividly and throws in the occasional swear that it makes me feel like he is talking directly to me. Every passage is captivating. I started this book on the long metro ride from College Park, MD to Fairfax, VA (a ride that I feel gets longer and longer each time I do it). Needless to say I almost missed my transfer point because I was so engrossed in the early stages of the book.

I'm not close to being done with the book yet but I can already tell that the end will be just as good as the beginning.

Anthony Kiedis interview on Conan O'brien

"My work done my way. A private, personal, selfish, egotistical motivation. That's the only way I function. That's all I am."

- The Fountainhead

I've always been an avid reader. As far back as I can remember I've had my face shoved between two pages of some kind of work that I'm surprised I don't have a permanent ink stain on my nose. Reading the different thoughts and imaginations of brilliant authors has inspired inside in me the thirst to create such works myself.

One work that I read in particular in high school (assigned to me by one of my favorite english teachers) was Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. This 800+ page book was the first work written by Rand that I had ever been exposed to-and for this I will ever be grateful. Her words not only gave a social critique on the importance of having an ego, but inspired me to believe so much in myself-and gave me reverence that it was ok to believe this.

The novel's main character Howard Roark is a creative architect who instead of designing traditional buildings expected at that time (1940's) dared to design more modern buildings.

Ok. I know what you are thinking. Who wants to read 800 pages of graphing, drawing, and architecture? This is what I thought too.

This book is not about architecture at all. Yes that is the business that Roark is in and is mentioned quite often, but architecture is just an analogy for something greater. It isabout Roark's ideas and the art of creation. Rand challenges the reader to understand that having an ego does not always need to have a negative connotation. It means that you dare to do what it is that you feel in your heart and that you give everything to what it is you do, even if it isn't accepted by society overall.

As an aspiring writer, journalistic or not, I find this idea very inspiring. Rand was not afraid to say how she felt about society, especially in a time where it was easier to just conform.

I've read countless books, poems, and plays. But there are only a handful that have really gotten through to me like The Fountainhead has. Whenever I critique my writing in a negative way, because it doesn't sound as good as someone else, I remember Rand's words in the novel spoken through Howard Roark-

"You've made a mistake already. By asking me. By asking anyone. Never ask people. Not about your work. Don't you know what you want? How can you stand it, not to know?"

Basically, in the end, I don't need your approval if my writing is "good". It's mine and I think it's damn good. Grammar misuse and all.

Ayn Rand Institute
Visit this for more information on Rand's books and philosophy

MGMT's lyrics tell My (Generation's) Story

MGMT, an electronic inspired indie band that originated with two Wesleyan University students, has not only created a new sound in the music scene, but the words for my inbetween generation: 18-22 year olds.

As we juggle trying to find our place in society, pick our futures, pass class and land internships, our true voice and aspirations have been lost in a distant memory. The dreams we had as children have been left far behind, like a toy you've grown too old to be seen with.

The song Time To Pretend, along with a raw dreamlike sound, voices the concerns with growing older and losing the thought-free dreams of our youth. I first heard this song going into my freshmen year of college. It said everything that I was feeling at the time in the words I couldn't articulate myself.

The opening lines: "I'm feelin rough I'm feelin raw in the prime of my life" fully explained the anxious feeling I woke up with every morning for a whole semester. These words, simple and straight to the point, hit me like a big yellow school bus (pardon the Mean Girls reference). Here I was away on my own at college. I could make my own rules. I could be doing anything I wanted.I began to realize that I need to follow my dreams-no matter how impossible the outcome.

MGMT's lyrics also match up perfectly with the beat and tone of the music. The pace of Time To Pretend is very fast and and the lyrics give the feeling of someone grasping on to something that they don't want to lose.

Whether the meaning I interpreted was the intention of the artists or not, this single song impacted one of the biggest transitions of my life. I think it is important for every generation to have a artist that can provide a mass voice for what they are feeling.

The lyrics of this song gave me my voice back and my thirst for writing.

what is it about listening to your favorite music that can take you to a completely different place, to the past?

these familiar words and harmonies transport me back to a time where the world was so much smaller and less complicated. where i seemed to have everything figured out.

i feel like i've been given this prescribed path, and if i follow it, there is no escaping the illness. the mundane routine of millions before me. stuck in a time of ceaseless inspiration. no great motivation. a vast void of lost dreams.

when did it become ok to turn off our real emotions and turn on the idiot box? i see an army of my peers hiding behind handheld trophies, electronic menaces.

we must use this powerful technology to move the masses, to educate about our world. instead we poison the minds of the youth. if we are to ever move away from the prescribed path, we must relearn our own emotions and truth.

i dig for my lost self, hidden behind years of change and reconditioning. i rub the sleep from my eyes as i try to scream out the answer to what ive been trying to prove my whole life. my throat is sore and it stings as the words come up rough like venom.

who are you lost child?

the question bounces off my ears like lightening and fades slowly, not wanting me to forget what im searching for. an echo to last a lifetime warning me to never lose sight in the flash.

E-books and The Kindle

For the past couple of weeks I have been researching the new technology fad of "e-books". E-books are electronic personal readers that can hold many copies and versions of printed books. I have paid particular attention to Amazon's Kindle. The Kindle can hold approximatley 3,500+ books in one convienent place (Anonymous, Electronic Business Journal, 2010). A reader can choose from about 670,000 books on Amazon's database, which includes New York Times bestsellers and new releases (Anonymous, Electronic Business Journal, 2010). These books run for about $9.99 or less depending on the book.

There are of course drawbacks to having such a technology. The Kindle does not use any type of backlighting; therefore it cannot be read in the dark (Mossberg, 2010). This does mean however that one can read the bok in sunlight with no difficulty, unlike the iPad (Perenson, 2010).

It could still be a little while before e-books emerge into wide use in the classroom and on college campuses. According to the “2010 Horizon report, it is predicated that a ‘full-scale movement to electronic books is still two to three years away.’ For college textbooks, that tipping point will be a bit further out, perhaps five years” (Clodfelter 2010).

My personal opinion about e-books is this. If you are an avid reader and are traveling a lot, this is a great way to bring your books with you without all the bulk. You can also purchase books and have them downloaded immediately without going to the store. There are drawbacks though that are sort of a deal breaker for me. This takes away from going to an actual bookstore and discovering books you wouldn't have once found. This is hard to do on a website. You can preview a book online like you can in person.

Despite what I may personally feel, the e-book has definitely taken off and will only continue to become more popular as the Christmas shopping season approaches.

Check out some great Kindle ad's I've added on the right sidebar of my page!

Where I am, as of now.

I am not me.

My body is nothing,

but a vessel for my mind and soul.

A protective casing.

My body isn't me.

I am not this person.

I am a soul, a feeling,

an idea.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

but my words could change the world.

I am an inexperienced psychological matter.

A perpetual phenomenon of thought in space.

WIthout the constant stream of idea, emotions, and feelings

I am nothing,

Bare, incomplete.

All beauty would cease to flow from every stem.

My world a complicated foreign rock,

Floating, unforgiving, and cold.

I am my mind, that is where I am.

as of now...